Most of the time, the default organizing principle of my kitchen can be compared to the aftermath of a condiment cyclone.
Counters, drawers, shelves, the refrigerator-freezer, and the second fridge (the back porch) spill over with brightly labeled jars, bottles, and tins—the idiosyncratic, shelf-stable output of local cottage industrialists.
But it’s usually at its peak disorder right about now, when makers are pushing their guerilla consumer packaged goods ahead of the holidays.
I sent a few of these things over to the Reader’s general holiday gift guide (see p. 10), but my cupboards so runneth over that it only made sense to carry on here in the food section with many of the delightful, edible, potable, and educational wares I wouldn’t mind receiving myself, if they weren’t already blocking my path to the milk and cereal.
First, to whet the munchies: no one disputes the healing properties of J.P. Graziano giardiniera, but add to it a healthy dose of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and you have a curative condiment for the stoned age. The venerable Italian grocer joined forces with nuEra dispensaries to infuse two-ounce jars of the classic hot giard with around 25 mg of pure THC concentrate, which by my reckoning is enough to medicate two Mr. Gs. You can’t get it on Randolph Street (or at Fixin’ Franks), but only at nuEra and selected other Illinois dispensaries. $14, nueracannabis.com
Don’t come at me, but I think it’d play nicely with the kua mee from Laos to Your House. Chicago’s only Lao restaurant (and a Foodball pop-up favorite) has fully pivoted to packaged Lao meals, shippable nationwide, like those caramelized rice noodles; or sai oua sausage; or thom khem, braised pork belly stew; and ten other classic Lao dishes, each at around $14 apiece. laostoyourhouse.com
Crust Fund Pizza boss John Carruthers is out with his second spiral-bound volume of community pizzaology, Super Pizza World, featuring recipes by the likes of Mike Satinover, Dennis Lee, Josh Kulp, and Derrick Tung. Profits benefit a range of charities like the Friendship Center; My Block, My Hood, My City; Dignity Diner; and Billy Zureikat’s ongoing Muscular Dystrophy Association campaign. It’s on sale now at Buddy in the Chicago Cultural Center.$40, hi-buddy.org
Dissident baker Jim Franks has penned Existential Bread, an anti-cookbook based on the principle that you don’t need books to learn how to bake. Written in free verse, it’s endearing and axiomatic, sensible and radical. You can preorder a copy from Drag City. $21, dragcity.com
I was perusing pickles from Vargo Brother Ferments when I learned that Taylor Hanna and Sebastian Vargo also have a publishing arm, most recently putting out the short zine A Quick Guide to Canning and Fermentation. It’s free. vargobrotherferments.com
Speaking of dank ferments, condiments, and sauces, you can find tons of locally made foodstuffs from folks like Vargo, Co-op Sauce, and Pink Salt at Here Here Market, which also bundles themed gift packages like the Hatchery Greatest Hits, composed of products born and brought to market at the Garfield Park’s not-for-profit food incubator, like Carolyn’s Cheddar Krisps, lemon mint sencha tea from Steepers Only, and a Blue Sunday alcohol infusion kit from Aged & Infused. $85, hereheremarket.com
Evanston’s El Molcajete Sauces makes an array of sauces based on the seven great moles of Oaxaca, including mole verde, mole rojo, and the rare and elusive mole blanco. A set of five goes for $65. elmolcajetesauces.com
Meanwhile, Rick Bayless is pushing a mole rojo dinner kit with a live online cooking class on February 1 for $149.95 goldbelly.com
Wulong baron Annie Xiang of Volition Tea has reprised her collaboration with chocolatier Sugoi Sweets, resulting in a quartet of chá-infused chocolate bars like Big Red Robe wulong dark chocolate and chamomile and cocoa butter. $11, volitiontea.com
Former Denver restaurateur Kendra Anderson brought her love of fine fish eggs to Chicago and launched Caviar Dream with the aim of making these luxe aquatic ova accessible to all. Seven varieties, from Hackleback to Imperial Osetra, start at $55 for a one-ounce tin to $135, respectively. caviardream.co
In last year’s gift guide, I wrote about the exquisite bottled Hoste Cocktails from former Violet Hour head bartender Robby Haynes. It would be malpractice not to recommend the new 2024 Gold Fashioned, batched with nine-year Kentucky “Hazmat Bourbon,” aged in Oloroso sherry casks; ten- and six-year Indiana rye; saffron bitters, with an orange zest atomizer for the finish. $300, hostecocktails.com
Meanwhile, entrepreneur Dee M. Robinson has joined the growing number of local Black craft distillers with the limited release of four-year-old, 92-proof Good Trouble bourbon. Unpopular opinion: I find most new craft whiskey brands disappointing. Not this one. It’s extraordinarily smooth and multilayered, with waves of caramel, honey, and baking spice washing over the palate. Twenty-five cents from each $73 bottle benefits the Shine Your Light Foundation. goodtroublebourbon.com
Already well established among those ranks is Uduimoh Umolu, whose Jon Basíl blanco and reposado tequilas are widely distributed on liquor store shelves. Now comes his 18-month oak-aged añejo, which leaps from the glass with a big vanilla nose and sticks around with a long, lingering caramel finish. $59.99-64.99, jonbasiltequila.com